Week 1: Movie!

While I was shooting this, I told my three-year-old daughter (who had been making monster videos with me) that I needed to make a video so that people knew I needed money to see the doctor.
“The doctor doesn’t need money!”
“Yes, doctors cost money!”
“No! Silly Mommy!”
True story.

Transcript below:

Alright I’m really long-winded and hopefully I won’t talk too fast, but I really want to keep these as short as possible. Um, first off, thank you, thank you, thank you to everybody who donated. I, I, really didn’t know what to expect when I started this project. Um, I’ve got a lot of feedback. Um, and I’ve also collected, um, over $1100 in the first week of the project, which was not what I was expecting. Um, so as soon as I get off my ass and talk to my doctor about getting some lidocaine, I’m actually now in a position to really start, um some of my preoperative care. And, um, that will be wonderful. That will be… well…it’ll be good news, at least. I don’t that it’ll be wonderful, but…

Um, two quick things. First, in terms of the blog, I’m still sort of… it’s the first week of it, just wrapping up the first week, and it’s a project I’ve been thinking about for quite a while. And, just, my sort of, the way I write, um, is that, stuff just gets blocked up [hand motions] in my mind and it sort of goes back and forth [more hands] and I rearrange it, and play with metaphors and paragraphs and stuff while I’m, um, you know, going to the bathroom, or trying to wake up, or trying to go to sleep, or what not. Um, and sometimes when I’m really smart, I actually write some of the stuff down. Um, but usually I wait until I have enough time to sit down at a computer. Um, which means that I’ve got tons of stuff up here personal stuff sort of more explaining what the hell the blog is stuff um, and I’m waiting for a good time to really just sit down and just puke it all out [more hands!] on the computer like I always do. So…so look for that.

Um, but once that’s done, and even beforehand for that matter, I am interested in hearing from… from folks about guest posts, um, about things that they’d like to see from me, um, see me write about. Um, certainly I want to focus a lot on trans issues, but I’m not wedded to that as one…one and only thing. I’m really interested in more broadly talking about the United States’ health care system and…and…and for that matter health care globally, and how it tends to, um, reinforce the marginalization of, of, many people’s bodies, um, mine included.

Um, and with that sort of the second thing is that, um, I still am $14,000 short, and, um, you know, I’ve raised a lot of money from folks that sorta know who I am, either through Shakesville, or through being um, um, otherwise a friend or a relative, or something like that. Um, and so now I…I…I really have to, you know, go out and talk to strangers and people who have no idea who I am, what I’m doing. Um, and that’s always amusing. Um, but you know, I’m ready to create synergy [with my hands!] and out of boxiness and no puns, and all like that.

Um, but obviously something that my partner and I discussed before this is…is sorta this idea of… scary idea of… um, what happens… In order… in order to make this work… I… I do have to have a number of people know who I am. Um, which is kinda scary, because right now I’m trying to get people to know who I am as the lady who’s trying to buy a cunt on the Internet. It’s a little… again, a little scary and yeaaaaah I’m sure I’ll get all sorts of wonderful feedback on that if it… if the idea does catch on. If the idea doesn’t catch on, then I won’t raise enough money and I [what the hell kinda noise is that?] we’ll see.

Um, so that’s that. And that’s sort of terrifying, but at the same time I’m having a lot of fun at this point, um, and looking forward to sort of getting more of the blog out there…and…and… hearing more from people, certainly thank you to everyone out there who’s really been, um, um, sharing the blog. And with that, I think I’m approaching probably about twenty or thirty minutes of talking right now, so, um with that, I will say um, I will see you soon.


One response to “Week 1: Movie!”

  1.  Avatar

    I’d personally be really interested in reading more about how the US health care system operates in general and how to navigate it while trans in particular!

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